Free By Design

Nike Remix

kmcooley — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 13:56:31 +0000

Good morning. Tuesday a friend on FB asked me to pray with her about an upcoming job interview. My immediate reply included my prayer. Yesterday Anthony Sweezer posted about praying in the very moment someone asks you to. The message God is trying to get across…Handle your business and PRAY. If God intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express (Roman 8:26), just imagine what He can do with a text msg, email, or tweet. Just GET IT DONE.

Peace – Kimberly

Purposefully Lonely

kmcooley — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 04:17:09 +0000

Good evening. The lonely place you put yourself in is totally different from the place of loneliness that God allows you to enter. The difference? Well, one breeds bitterness and complacency. The other builds character and integrity. So, what’s your choice? Waddle in pointless pity? Or embrace transformation by conviction? Word.

Peace – Kimberly

Corporate Buddies

kmcooley — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 17:31:46 +0000

Ok, this is a first. I don’t think I’ve did a commentary on a publication before, but if I have, oh well. I read the article below, and immediately started writing this. While I totally respect the author’s point of view, I felt a draw to bring it into perspective….my perspective. This article is well written and has some great points. However aiming for many of the things it suggests is exactly what causes us to lose focus on what we should.

Before I go further, I accept the fact that after reading this, you may think I’m weird. So it’s cool. No love lost.

Several years (almost 6 to be exact) I found myself in the position of potentially becoming friends with a powerful individual associated with my, then, place of employment. In spite of what people said about this person and regardless of how many people didn’t like this person, I was drawn to them and it was obvious that we had a mutual respect for each other. However, we decided to keep professional separate from personal. That didn’t mean we cut off what we had. It just meant that we saw each other in a different light BUT with a mutual understanding. Six years later, we have one of the best indirect relationships ever. Our understanding of each other isn’t flashed in front of the masses. We don’t go to lunch all the time. None of those things are needed. When its all said and done, we simply understand each other’s professional role with respect.

I told that story to preface what I’m about to say and do. Don’t worry. Rather than quoting the entire article, I’ll just suggest you read it for yourself. Briefly, however, it basically says “Want to stay in that job you have? Then you’d better have friends….The happy truth is that the people who say they’re not here to make friends don’t win.”"

I totally dislike these two statements with a passion, and here’s why.

In my short, but well lived 28 years on this earth, I’ve experienced a lot of things in this very area, some more recent than others. Out of it, I’ve become to believe that there are various levels and types of friends in the workplace, and I’m yet to experience true, true friendship in the workplace. Close, but there’s always still “something” there. Let me explain.

Type A – Only At The Office Friends – This one’s simple. You’re only friends when you’re on the clock. No outside interaction, no after hours communications. You’re basically two people in the same building/ company that on occasions hold conversations.
Type B – Skilled Flunky – “Yes, we’re friends, but only when your professional ability is valuable to my professional or personal needs.” These words are never really said, but darn sure meant.
Type C – Borderline Real Friends – Another term for this is “Closet Friends.” Closet Friendship is developed when you actually think you’re in a real, serious, trusting friendship, but then NOT REALLY. Here’s the schedule? Monday – Friday, you’re best buds. You have lunch together, may even share a secret here or a secret there. Every company function, you’re together laughing it up. Saturday – Sunday, you may get a call, but often it’s for a quick favor. When you invite them out on the weekends, they’re always busy with other friends. You happen to end up at the same restaurant and you’re expecting a “Come sit with us.” but you get a pretty wave. Monday roles back around, and all is good as gravy.
Type D – The Until You Friend - The Until You Friend is a hard one to figure out, but obvious to point out. The Until You Friend is your biggest fan and supporter. Knows you like a brother or sister, compassionate, and passionate about your friendship UNTIL you show signs of your own mind, show that you’re not a spineless jelly-back, may actually want to do something with your own life and time that doesn’t cater to their needs. The Until You Friend can’t stand you knowing the word ‘no’ and expects one-way support (you supporting them.) All things “them” are important. All things “you” can wait. The Until Friend places their own personal agendas over your friendship and are likely to get mad or cut you off when you: 1. Tell them they are wrong 2. Agree with someone they don’t like 3. Not support their ill mannered or immoral actions in spite of your decision being for the greater good.

Hopefully by now you’re seeing a pattern here. In fact, if I keep going, all of the friend types will do two things: 1. Start to sound the same 2. Resonate with you on one level or another. People use people, and this article encourages just that by advising silliness such as befriending people for selfish reasons.

I’m going to end with this. Above all “tactics” to be successful or to maintain a job begin and end with faith in God and prayer. Secondly, I value friendships. Why entertain the idea of using and tarnishing the idea of a friendship for selfish reasons. Lastly, if a person isn’t intelligent enough, skilled enough, confident enough to hold their own in their place of employment without “so-called” friends then maybe they don’t need to work. The types of people I mentioned above unfortunately exist all around us. I am painfully aware of this, but you know what, when you don’t place all of your confidence and trust in man, these type of people blow in and out of your life like the wind leaving you with the freedom in saying that your success was not/is not weighed by who likes you but rather weighed by your faith in God, your confident, and your ability.

Now don’t get me wrong, one of my closest friendships to date started 10 years ago when she and I worked for the same company. Mind you, there was no direct interaction professionally and neither of our jobs influenced the other. As a matter of fact, it wasn’t long before we weren’t working for the same company any longer. I really believe, had it been otherwise, it would not have worked. Now, I’m also not saying it never works. My writing is simply to comment on the main objective as written in the article below. ”Have friends in the work place and you’re set.” I guess I’m saying the morality, intelligence, and intent all have to be in alignment before friendships in the workplace work and must be natural and not forced, situational, or just because. In other words, if Jane and John and friends and John and Julie are friends, Jane and Julie don’t necessarily have to be friends also. Anywho, I could go on for days. Here’s the article that got me all worked up.

Why Friends Matter at Work and in Life

Harvard Business Review

http://blogs.hbr.org/bregman/2010/07/why-friends-matter-at-work-and.html

Peace – Kimberly

God Made Me Smile

kmcooley — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 11:25:10 +0000

Good morning. At dinner last night, a friend and I were sharing about how this seems to be a season for troubled friendships. Just as we began engaging deeper in the conversation, I was reminded of something my Pastor said Sunday. She said that God is pruning within the lives of His people removing all of the things and/or people that aren’t producing fruit. Talk about a light bulb moment. Couple that with the fact that a friend who knows my heart and whom I hold dear to my heart writing to me at THAT VERY MOMENT letting me know that she’d be making a trip to Mississippi next week! Talk about excited. You may find my excitement elementary or immature because after all we are grown adults, right? Wrong. See, I was in a serious place of hurt due to the recent ending of a really great friendship, and God addressed that hurt by reminding me that 1. people, themselves, can become a god in our life and we can just as easily make them one by putting them on such high pedestals and He “aint” having that. And 2. not all relationships are meant to be for a lifetime and that I must let go. And lastly…He reminded me of the people He has predestined to be in my life by bringing one of them TO me. I emphasize “TO” because normally when I am in a weary place, I go the distance to be among this friend and others. But nope not this time. God said, “Baby girl, I’m bringing them to you!” Priceless and downright AWESOME!

See you next week, Kathy (KNA)!

Peace and Love – Kimberly

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

Money

kmcooley — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 05:13:53 +0000

“Money don’t matter tonight; it sho’ didn’t matter yesterday. Just when you think you’ve got more than enough, that’s when it all ups and flies away….That’s when you find out that you’re better off making sure your soul’s alright. Cause money didn’t matter yesterday, and it sho’ don’t matter tonight.” – Prince

I Give Myself Away

kmcooley — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 03:56:45 +0000

“Here I am; here I stand. Lord, my life is in your hands. Lord, I’m longing to see
your desires revealed in me. I give myself away…Take my heart; take my life as a living sacrifice. All my dreams, all my plans, Lord I place them in your hands…My life is not my own. To you, I belong. I give myself to you…I give myself away, so You can use me.” – W. McDowell

William McDowell – I Give Myself Away

Don’t Tell Me Otherwise

kmcooley — Sat, 10 Jul 2010 01:48:52 +0000

Good evening. “Open rebuke is better than love thats hidden. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; the kisses of an enemy are lavish & deceitful.” – Prov 27:5-6

In order to genuinely love, both parties must be able to handle the truth. It’s quite easy to always tailor make responses, reactions, and personalities, but when emotions erupt, so does the truth. Its better to let it all fly now than to let it build up and come crashing down. If you love me, tell me the truth. Because if I love you, I’ll take it.

Peace – Kimberly

The Pursuit of…

kmcooley — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 01:19:20 +0000

Good evening. Seeing a face changes the entire tone of your day. Receiving a text message brightens your smile. Experiencing someone’s presence takes your spirit to a place of peace. Feeling a hand on a shoulder brings you comfort. Have you fallen in love? Possibly. Or just maybe you’ve found a single being on this earth that simply makes you feel good. Regardless, allow them to contribute to your happiness. Allow them to help you learn how to love.

Peace – Kimberly

Open Letter To You

kmcooley — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 00:23:29 +0000

Hey! I can’t believe it’s been this long already. Normally when friends talk to me about losing someone, I typically tell them, from experience, that it takes me a full year (day by day) to accept the fact that that person is not coming back. Well…you have made me a liar because a part of me still wants to believe that your death is some cruel joke of yours or some unusually twisted technique to teach me a lesson. I remember walking up to your casket with Dimples, Bridg’s sister looking at you and thinking to myself this can’t be real. I was waiting for an outburst of laughter or a smile because you couldn’t hold the joke any longer. That never happended. It was definitnely reality and reality hurts.

A lot has happened in the last two years – some good, some bad. I’ve grown a lot and matured a lot spiritually. I took some time away from everybody…literally EVERYBODY. I know you’d fuss about me doing that, but I had to, and I can honestly say it helped. In each day, I rediscovered (and continue to rediscover) a bit more of myself and really entered into somewhat of an introspective phase. I’ll be the first to tell you that it wasn’t pretty.

I had an epiphany the other day that I’ve finally “got” this financial thing down. Nothing in particular happened but rather it was like God whispering to me, “You’ve got it!” It was pretty neat. I guess it’s been a while since I’ve had something confirmed right before my eyes. Guess I haven’t been paying attention, BUT I got it and it feels darn good.

I guess you’ve noticed that I’m back at MPC full time. Its good to be home. Actually it’s good to not dream about you almost daily which happened consistently until I did listen and adhere and return to MPC. It’s all good. Terri and I are in a good place. She won’t sell me your car just yet, but we’re still cool. A few other relationships have been restored as well. Speaking of Terri, you’ve got to be tickled. She’s like a little, walking, preaching, dynamite. It’s so powerfully and divinely cute. I know you’re proud.

I’ve been spending a lot of time at Coach and Bridgett’s in GA. It’s been good for me. For a while after you died, I couldn’t even look at Coach because I kept seeing you. It was tough, but after he hugged me and prayed with me prior to me leaving one night, things got better. The last time I was there, I literally only left the house maybe three times. It just felt good being there. There was a sense of closeness that I’d been missing that I felt the entire time I was there. What really put the icing on the cake was when Bray just started talking to me out of the blue. Weird right?

Hmmm let’s see. I’m about to move to Cleveland (yes again)! I’m actually looking forward to it this time. I work directly for DSU now so that has made community and campus life that much better. I do need one favor for you. While you’re up there chillin with the Big Guy, can you talk to him about the mosquitoes in Cleveland? Just kidding. It’s going to be a good move. Jahviah and Joey are helping me. Wesley is also but he just doesn’t know it yet :p

Dude, Angela and the praise team are “doin it.” OMG! Talk about a worship experience. I would have never in a million years put Angela on stage with a mic. It is AWESOME!

Before I go, I just want to say that I miss you. The older I get, I’m realizing that we have a lot of similiar traits, which could be a bad thing, but I’m going to chalk it up to being good. I’m becoming more and more stubborn. Oh and the liberty of not taking phone calls when I don’t feel like it is SO FRIGGIN GREAT. Haha. Seriously, you impacted me in ways that neither of us were aware of, and I couldn’t be happier that you did. We had some intense moments, but at the day’s end, we still loved and cared about each other.

This letter’s to you, Bishop. And Terri, this song’s for you. I love you.

I love you, Bishop.

Kimberly

“Still With You” by Eric Benet

Heaven knows what you’ve been through

So much pain

Even though you can’t see

I’m not far away

We always say if one of us

Somehow went away

We’d light a candle and say a prayer

Know that love still remains

Close your eyes, go to sleep

Know my love is all around you

Dream in peace, when you wake

You will know I’m still with you

Live your life from this day on

And love again

I know you’d do the same for me

That’s the way that loves is supposed to be

Close your eyes, go to sleep

Know my love is all around you

Dream in peace, when you wake

You will know I’m still with you

When you feel those lonely teardrops

Rolling down your face

Just know my love watches over you

Always, always

Close your eyes, go to sleep

Know my love is all around you

Dream in peace, when you wake

You will know I’m still with you

I’m still with you

Baba (Daddy)

kmcooley — Sun, 20 Jun 2010 18:04:44 +0000

Ozell gave me life; Bishop taught me how to live it. Ozell taught me to love; Bishop taught me to love God. Because of these two men, I live, love life, and give love. Happy Father’s Day, Daddy. Happy Father’s Day, Bishop. I love you and miss you both! - Your baby girl

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